Who pays for the wedding?

Official florist

at Gaylord Opryland Resort

and Convention Center.

Great wedding plan, but who pays the bills?

Perhaps as a holdover of the ancient practice of dowry, for many years tradition placed most of the financial burden of a wedding on the bride's family -- from the invitations through the reception. The groom's family paid for the rehearsal dinner and little else.

In modern times, however, it is more common for the budget to be divided more equally between the families or for the bride and groom to establish a bank account to handle wedding expenses themselves.

You can use these lists as a reference when deciding what division of costs works best for you and your families.

Traditional Wedding Expense Responsibility

(Note: Floral expenses shown below in crimson.)

Bride's Family

Engagement party (initiated by Bride's Family)

Wedding invitations and note stationery

Services of bridal consultant

Wedding gown and accessories

Flowers for ceremony / reception sites

Bouquets for bridesmaids / female attendants

Music

Photography

Videography

Ceremony

Reception

Bridal party transportation to ceremony / reception

Family's wedding attire

The Bride

The groom's ring

The bridesmaids' luncheon

Flowers for bridesmaids' luncheon

Gifts for the bridesmaids

Gifts for parents

Wedding gift for the groom

Groom's Family

Engagement party (initiated by Groom's Family)

Rehearsal dinner

Flowers for rehearsal dinner site

Their own wedding attire

The Groom

The bride's rings

The marriage license

Officiant's fee

His formalwear

Personal flowers:

the bride's bouquet,

boutonnieres for wedding party males,

boutonnieres for fathers and grandfathers,

corsages for mothers and grandmothers

Gifts for the groomsmen

Wedding gift for the bride

Gifts for parents

Honeymoon

Transportation to and from the honeymoon

The Wedding Party

Bridal shower (bridesmaids and female attendants)

Bachelor parties (groomsmen and other male attendants)

Bachelorette parties (bridesmaids and female attendants)

Gifts for the couple (individual or a group gift)

Wedding attire and accessories

Travel expenses to and from wedding

Today, weddings are seen as more of a joint venture financially, so it has become less common for the bride's family to take on such a disproportionate share of the expenses.

Expenses may be shared by the couple, the bride's parents, and the groom's parents. Parents often choose to contribute a set dollar amount to be used as the engaged couple chooses. Or in other cases, parents may each decide to pay for particular items. For example, the bride's family could pay for the ceremony and reception sites, the limousines and the reception food.

The best approach is for the couple to discuss the type of wedding they want and establish a reasonable budget. Then, they can sit down and talk with their families about what level of assistance is available and how it should be handled.

One other consideration: couples who want to control every detail of their wedding may opt to save the money to finance the wedding themselves and not ask for family assistance if it means losing that control.

Less Traditional, More Modern Approach

Step 1: The Bride and Groom set a budget for the wedding and open a bank account for wedding expenses.

Step 2: The couple decides what help, if any, they want from their respective families and talk to them.

Step 3: If the families are participating financially, each contributes to the wedding expense account.

Step 4: The couple pays all the bills for the wedding out of the wedding expense account.

Step 3: Each family accepts responsibility for various specific costs and the bills go to them to pay.

Step 4: The couple pays all the remaining bills for the wedding out of their wedding expense account.

The Wedding Party still generally retains these responsibilities:

Bridal shower (bridesmaids and female attendants)

Bachelor parties (groomsmen and other male attendants)

Bachelorette parties (bridesmaids and female attendants)

Gifts for the couple (individual or a group gift)

Wedding attire and accessories

Travel expenses to and from wedding

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